Vise Wants Your Shitty Writing

 

Can you not, not write good?

 

Is your idea of a thought-provoking article something that’s NSFW?

 

Are you a celebrity? Do you at least know one?

 

Can you write an article while tripping on acid?

 

Can you find a Youtube video of somebody literally tripping while tripping on acid, while you yourself trip on acid?

 

Are you arrogant only to cover up all of your insecurities or social flaws? Well, we should probably do a piece on how fucked up you are then.

 

Would you appreciate the fact that we pay employees terrible wages because we’re martyrs and we give fresh starts to recent college graduates?

 

Did you know that the definition of Vice is “immoral or wicked behavior,” and that’s what makes us cool?

 

Would you be willing to travel to a poverty-stricken country and point out graffiti on a wall?

 

Would you drink urine for breakfast every morning for a year and then write about it?

 

Were you invited to Corey Feldman’s party?

 

Did you know we have a show on HBO?

 

Would you ever write an article about the social implications of Shane Smith’s tattoos?

 

Good luck with your submission.

Wow, take me away from this sh*t.
There's The Awel, but am I that desperate?

 

"Ugh, no one gets my writing. No one gets me! Everyone is just super money hungry.
It's like all the blogs turned into everything they've hated!
They're all Youtube-oriented, NSFW, Reddit-garbage-loving,
'let's show a video of disaster,' 
'or what about this cute animal,' LILO,
listicles, foodie bull shit, and they love Kanye West."

 

"Wait, there's The Blish. That's where I belong."