The Ay.Vee. Klub is Not Hiring!
But if we ever do, submit your writing
to us through this awesome writing contest!


Can you write an article that says nothing at all in 50 words or less?


Can you write an article that says nothing at all in 5,000 words or more?


Could you define your personality as a "nouveau loser"?


Would you be willing to show your readers how much of a "nouveau loser" you are by posting photos of your out-of-shape, terrible-looking self working (or doing something quirky, like eating) for the sake of showing how "fun" your office is?


Could you watch every single shitty scripted show on television and give it a meaningless letter grade?


Could you compare one popular TV show with a completely different popular TV show in a faux-competition, under zero basis, just to forcibly prove how much you think you're in touch with what shows are good to watch on TV?


Would you re-watch a show ten years after it aired, then write about it as a classic, even though you know that no one actually cares and would certainly not take the time to read it?


Are you the sibling of a much cooler and funnier individual?


Do you pride yourself on being related to that individual in hopes that you yourself might be thought of as cool?


Will you please think we're fun and hip because we sometimes get awesome musicians to come play horrendously unprepared covers?


They even sign their names on a wall!



Good luck with your submission.

"I used to think I was a loser until I read The Ay.Vee. Klub."



Don't be so hard on yourself.

You can always sign up for a social network.





The Blish will accept your quality writing with open arms.
We'll also give you the respect you deserve.